Stodgy

Hello. It's me again. 

Last Sunday of November. I haven't really been very productive this whole month. I don't know why, but nowadays I get bored so easily. I tried studying just to end up watching music videos in YouTube 10 minutes later. If not, I'd just find any random K-dramas to watch. Ophthalmology is an interesting subject, so what on earth is happening to me?

I woke up at 6 this morning. For the previous 4 hours, all I did was scrolling through my Facebook homepage, watching YouTube, browsing random things, or reading whatever articles that caught my attention. And now instead of trying to read my books, I am typing this post. See? Something is definitely wrong with me, right?

This whole week, I had my rotation in RSUD Wates. It is about 37 km away from where I lived and somehow I managed to go there by my motorbike. Alone. The furthest I've ever gone with my motorbike was RSUD Muntilan, but it was always with friends. So, that was a whole new experience for me to ride 70 km/day. Although my body'd ache here and there every time I reached home, I am still glad for the (personal) 'achievement'! Haha.

I am going to have an exam this Friday, but my brain is still at its emptiest state. I better buckle up, yes? I hope by thinking that 'holiday is coming very soon' can motivate me enough. So.. see ya around!

Me after attending a senior's wedding ceremony last night. Was bored. Then, they happened! 

'塞翁失马，焉知非福 - When the old man from the frontier lost his horse, how could one have known that it would not be fortuitous?'


Signing off,




Stevanie

Twenty two

+ 1 day. For two days in a row,  most of my calories intake came from birthday cakes. I feel extremely guilty, but I'll excuse myself because it's only once a year. No?

Hold on. Before I start typing too much, I'd like to clarify that I actually knew Olly Murs already from the song Up, which he sings with Demi Lovato. I just realized it is the same person when YouTube randomly played that song. Well, it's nothing....  just wanted to show you guys that I am not that outdated! Haha.

Okay. So. Twenty two.

I've been spending at least five years of my life in Yogyakarta. I realize it's not a short time, but somehow I still feel like I am the same little spoiled girl that has just arrived here and started my university life. I mean, I am supposed to be wiser and more mature overtime, right?

Some things stay the same. For instance: I still text Dad and Mom every single day to tell them everything that's going on. I still live in the same boarding house (because it's too troublesome for me to move here and there). I still find it hard to deal with homesickness. I still feel sleepy if I don't get to take a nap sometimes. I still put some post-its with motivational quotes on my wall to cheer me up. And etc.

Nevertheless, a lot of changes also happened in the past year, especially in the last 2 - 3 months. The ups-and-downs moments were all inevitable. One thing for sure is that, right now, I feel much more grateful for life.

Here are some to-do list that I made for myself yesterday. I wrote it in a paper and it's now hanging on the wall:

22nd year. To-do List:

1. Remember to always greet Dad&Mom good morning/night and say I love them every day.

2. Remember to always appreciate my friends, esp. those who were there when I was in my worst days.

3. Study hard. Stop procrastinating. 

4. Be a useful person. Dedicate yourself.

5. Live a healthy life. Stop eating junk foods way too often. (FOR REAL, S!) Exercise regularly.

....

Those are pretty much some important (but silly) stuffs I wish I could do for the rest of the year. Fingers crossed?

Some latest pictures:

With Anin, my 'gemeli' throughout the clinical rotation

We were choosing our best group photos

Recent group mates

With Bella's homemade chocolate lava cupcakes!

With Lydia. And that typical pose again.

Scorpion Queens.

Finally.  Me. Making some wishes. Weirdly.

'In life, you will realize there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you, and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you why it's worth it.'

Signing off,

Stevanie.

A matter of time

I failed myself again. I just ate four pieces of Droste's dark chocolate when I just promised myself to not eat any kind of snacks after dinner. I was thinking it might help me to concentrate. Five minutes later, here I am, typing this post instead of doing something productive.

*Meanwhile, Olly Murs' songs are playing in the background. I knew him just yesterday. You may be thinking that I am living under the rock all this time to just find out about him. Yea, I also regret myself for not listening to his tracks sooner.*

Okay, so it's my second day in the Ophthalmology Department. I am going to join different groups of interns from this station onward. I thought it'd be awkward at first. But luckily, I've known most of the group members I am with now. So, it'll be fine. The department itself is nice, too. It doesn't seem so stressful (at least for now), most of the specialists look friendly, and the residents I've met are kind. I haven't really read a lot since it's just begun (I know, I know! I am supposed to study already), so I can't say much yet whether I am interested in it or not.

Talking about joining different groups of interns, it's one of the consequences I've to pay for my one-month leave to Groningen. The other one is that I have to postpone my national exam for some months and that basically means that my Hippocratic Oath will be deferred. It was not an easy choice back then.

**Mom skyped and I am not very good bad in multitasking, so if starting this point the post feels out of focus, please excuse me.**

It was last April, when one of the staffs in the international relation office texted me to meet her in the office. It was strange since two or three weeks before, I received an email that announced students who're chosen for exchange, and my name wasn't one of them. So, I just went to her as I was told to. Long story short, inside the office, she then offered me the internship in Groningen. I was speechless. Seriously? Groningen? For real?

One year before, in 2014, I applied for the same internship program and was lucky enough to be chosen. However, the period of the program was in the middle of my second last block in my pre-clinical year. So, I asked here and there about the possibility and the consequences. The result was: it wasn't possible to leave and I had to take the block next year. Sacrifice a year for a month? My heart sank. I remembered I tried really hard to hold my tears until I reached home that day. I then called Dad and Mom and we discussed it. In the end, I decided to leave the offer. Reluctantly. That time, I felt like the universe betrayed me, life was unfair, I was born unlucky and all. Why on earth couldn't I get the chance like everybody else? It took months to move on.

So, can you imagine how I felt when the same thing was offered to me again the next  year? Of course I wanted it so much. I went to the clinical rotation office several times to ask if it's possible. The Mbak was (and still) very friendly. She tried to arrange my schedule in several ways and gave me some options. First option was I get to finish on time but I'll have a very packed schedule without any holiday. I was thinking about taking this first option, but it came with a risk: no one could promise that my final mark for my last station can be collected on time, which means no one could guarantee I'll finish on time with this first option. The other option was simple: I just have to postpone my graduation for some months.

I tell you. I am quite inflexible when it comes to career. So, to postpone my graduation didn't really sound like a very good idea to me. But after considering some stuffs and discussed it with Dad and Mom (always), I decided to go with the second option. You know, before I went to Groningen, there was a time when I regretted my decision. It's because I did put my ex into one of my considerations.

However, now that I think of it, I feel stupid. How could I even feel regret because of that? It's like Groningen is the best thing that ever happened to me in my 22 years of life (No, I am not exaggerating). The ex wasn't really a priority reason anyway (And No, this is really not a denial). So.. I should feel grateful instead. Yes? Moreover, the more I think of it, the more I feel like the universe has planned it this way for me. It's like it somehow knew it all along about how everything will turn out and decided to give me the second chance.

#throwback!

As long as it's not the end of the world, situation are meant to change. No matter what you are going through won't last forever. It's just a matter of time - Blaze Olamiday.

Signing off,



Stevanie